Hereeee’sss Hubby! 

Ahh Fathers Day, a day set aside for men who have fathered,raised,or just lent out their sperm. Its a day that the hard working man should get for himself to relax and enjoy all things manly. Usually father’s day at our house starts off by giving my husband a gift he doesn’t exactly like, followed by a few scratch offs that he has no chance in Hell winning on. Let’s not forget the usual fighting between the kids and the ever nagging wife (me). Not this year tho. Nope,i was gonna make sure he liked his gift if i had to sell my soul for it. He constantly complains if only he had a camera, then he could take pics and put them on the computer. What he wants to take a picture of i have no clue, but I know he uses his phone all the time for that. Problem is, after he takes all the photo’s on his phone, he cant do anything with it because it doesnt upload to the computer. Soooo…i get him a simple digital camera. I even bought it a week before and not the day of fathers day. This year would be epic!
Things around my house lately has been, well, crazy. Everything is breaking all at once and my husbands to do list gets bigger by the day.
The gifts are presented,he seems to like it, i take over showing him how to charge the battery and such in case he wants to use it later on. As per norm tho, no winners on the scratch offs. Instead of relaxing on “his” day,he chooses to fix our pool. Its wall has rusted and needs to patch the return to the filter all because the installer did a shitty job six years ago. I beg him not to do it,especially on father’s day but he is adament on getting the job done. In my head, it makes more sense just to buy a new pool but thats just me being lazy.
All seemed to be going well until he enlisted my son’s help. That my friends, is when it all went astray. I don’t want to bore the reader with all the little details but to sum things up, my son did not cut or hand my husband the special tape he needed,then left him to get me to help and by that time water had already gotten between the liner and the pool wall. Oh Lord, i had no idea what was to follow. You see,im the hot headed italian nutjob when things go wrong and my husband is a laid back german. Sometimes it’s almost as if he’s flatlined he’s so calm. Not today he wasn’t. After he was done screeming and carrying on, while i stood there still holding the tape, he went to the shed and produced an ax. Shit he’s gonna kill us. All i could picture was Jack Nicholson’s face in the Shinning, grinning like a nut while breaking down that door.. Here’sssssss Johnny!”.
In an instant he went from calm to insane, then struck the pool with the Ax like Paul Bunyon chopping down a tree. Calmly he threw the Ax down and went inside. I stood there in shock. Good Lord is this how it looks when i freak out every other day? The water is going everywhere and we still haven’t gotten our basement fixed from our Memorial day flood (whole other story). I try patching the hole with that damn tape. Needless to say,it didn’t work.
After awhile my husband comes out and puts a pump in the pool and leads the hose to the street averting any other flood damage. We don’t mention the “ax” at all. As a matter of fact i put it in the shed right afterwards,out of sight,out of mind i always say.
Meanwhile,throughout this all im thinking..”Damn,what a great photo opportunity this would have been with his new camera”. One thing is for sure tho, i did say this year would be epic and by golly it was!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s