Drive me crazy

Im sure I speak for many people when I say,after 9/11,flying became a thing of the past. In fact I will drive days on end to avoid getting on a plane. I never really cared for it to begin with,probably because I have had a cousin and a close friend of the family die in plane crashes. What are the chances of knowing anyone in a plane crash and here I am knowing two. I would spend the whole flight reading the emergency manual like it was on the times best seller list. Truth is,if anything were to happen all that I read would go out the window because its every man for himself. I dont give a shit if im sitting at an emergency exit or not,Im going to panic and freak the Hell out,believe me.
We have been driving to Florida the past few years. I made it sound like it was gonna save us money to drive being airfare is so expensive. Let me just say that between gas being high and tolls being frequent and hotel stay is a must, driving is an expense as well. For petes sake the Verrazano bridge is thirteen dollars to get across..thirteen!!! For that money you would think they could slap a fresh coat of paint on it and make it look appealing. The sign ain’t kidding that says “fuggetaboutit”..which easily translates to “bend over while we rape ur wallet”.
I enjoy driving tho,well actually I enjoy sleeping while my husband drives. He thinks im narcoleptic because the minute we get on a open road,I pass out. Its not so bad because then my mouth is actually shut and everyone’s ears get a rest but sometimes If Im driving that very open road, I start to nod off…not good!
This year I had high hopes for my part of the trip where I get the wheel. After stopping at cracker barrel,my favorite place, I get behind the wheel and pray for the best. Its almost like Nightmare On Elm Street, I find myself chanting “never sleep again”. Its daylight,Im well rested and all I have to do is drive from Virginia to South of the Border,piece of cake. All is going well until the sun starts to set. Being I am nearsighted and wear glasses,I have a problem with night vision. I dont say a word and we pull into South of the Border on schedule, just a few more miles and I will have us at our hotel. Let me just say that Its not my fault that between nightfall upon us and a heavy rain falling that I misjudged the on coming traffic lane for our hotels driveway. Alot of screaming went on in that car,mostly from my husband. Now Im pissed that he is mad so I pull up to the lobby and ram his gear shift hard..the Jeep emblem goes flying off just as Im yanking the door open. Not only that but the plastic piece on the handle fell off too, oh boy Im as good as dead. In my defense, they just dont make vehicles like they used to, you would think a fully loaded Jeep Commander would be able to withstand a hot tempered Italian redhead.
Well, one good thing came out of that dreadful experience, my husband wont ask me to drive again and I can go back to being a comatose passenger.


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