Monthly Archives: October 2014

Hereeee’sss Hubby! 

Ahh Fathers Day, a day set aside for men who have fathered,raised,or just lent out their sperm. Its a day that the hard working man should get for himself to relax and enjoy all things manly. Usually father’s day at our house starts off by giving my husband a gift he doesn’t exactly like, followed by a few scratch offs that he has no chance in Hell winning on. Let’s not forget the usual fighting between the kids and the ever nagging wife (me). Not this year tho. Nope,i was gonna make sure he liked his gift if i had to sell my soul for it. He constantly complains if only he had a camera, then he could take pics and put them on the computer. What he wants to take a picture of i have no clue, but I know he uses his phone all the time for that. Problem is, after he takes all the photo’s on his phone, he cant do anything with it because it doesnt upload to the computer. Soooo…i get him a simple digital camera. I even bought it a week before and not the day of fathers day. This year would be epic!
Things around my house lately has been, well, crazy. Everything is breaking all at once and my husbands to do list gets bigger by the day.
The gifts are presented,he seems to like it, i take over showing him how to charge the battery and such in case he wants to use it later on. As per norm tho, no winners on the scratch offs. Instead of relaxing on “his” day,he chooses to fix our pool. Its wall has rusted and needs to patch the return to the filter all because the installer did a shitty job six years ago. I beg him not to do it,especially on father’s day but he is adament on getting the job done. In my head, it makes more sense just to buy a new pool but thats just me being lazy.
All seemed to be going well until he enlisted my son’s help. That my friends, is when it all went astray. I don’t want to bore the reader with all the little details but to sum things up, my son did not cut or hand my husband the special tape he needed,then left him to get me to help and by that time water had already gotten between the liner and the pool wall. Oh Lord, i had no idea what was to follow. You see,im the hot headed italian nutjob when things go wrong and my husband is a laid back german. Sometimes it’s almost as if he’s flatlined he’s so calm. Not today he wasn’t. After he was done screeming and carrying on, while i stood there still holding the tape, he went to the shed and produced an ax. Shit he’s gonna kill us. All i could picture was Jack Nicholson’s face in the Shinning, grinning like a nut while breaking down that door.. Here’sssssss Johnny!”.
In an instant he went from calm to insane, then struck the pool with the Ax like Paul Bunyon chopping down a tree. Calmly he threw the Ax down and went inside. I stood there in shock. Good Lord is this how it looks when i freak out every other day? The water is going everywhere and we still haven’t gotten our basement fixed from our Memorial day flood (whole other story). I try patching the hole with that damn tape. Needless to say,it didn’t work.
After awhile my husband comes out and puts a pump in the pool and leads the hose to the street averting any other flood damage. We don’t mention the “ax” at all. As a matter of fact i put it in the shed right afterwards,out of sight,out of mind i always say.
Meanwhile,throughout this all im thinking..”Damn,what a great photo opportunity this would have been with his new camera”. One thing is for sure tho, i did say this year would be epic and by golly it was!

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Drive me crazy

Im sure I speak for many people when I say,after 9/11,flying became a thing of the past. In fact I will drive days on end to avoid getting on a plane. I never really cared for it to begin with,probably because I have had a cousin and a close friend of the family die in plane crashes. What are the chances of knowing anyone in a plane crash and here I am knowing two. I would spend the whole flight reading the emergency manual like it was on the times best seller list. Truth is,if anything were to happen all that I read would go out the window because its every man for himself. I dont give a shit if im sitting at an emergency exit or not,Im going to panic and freak the Hell out,believe me.
We have been driving to Florida the past few years. I made it sound like it was gonna save us money to drive being airfare is so expensive. Let me just say that between gas being high and tolls being frequent and hotel stay is a must, driving is an expense as well. For petes sake the Verrazano bridge is thirteen dollars to get across..thirteen!!! For that money you would think they could slap a fresh coat of paint on it and make it look appealing. The sign ain’t kidding that says “fuggetaboutit”..which easily translates to “bend over while we rape ur wallet”.
I enjoy driving tho,well actually I enjoy sleeping while my husband drives. He thinks im narcoleptic because the minute we get on a open road,I pass out. Its not so bad because then my mouth is actually shut and everyone’s ears get a rest but sometimes If Im driving that very open road, I start to nod off…not good!
This year I had high hopes for my part of the trip where I get the wheel. After stopping at cracker barrel,my favorite place, I get behind the wheel and pray for the best. Its almost like Nightmare On Elm Street, I find myself chanting “never sleep again”. Its daylight,Im well rested and all I have to do is drive from Virginia to South of the Border,piece of cake. All is going well until the sun starts to set. Being I am nearsighted and wear glasses,I have a problem with night vision. I dont say a word and we pull into South of the Border on schedule, just a few more miles and I will have us at our hotel. Let me just say that Its not my fault that between nightfall upon us and a heavy rain falling that I misjudged the on coming traffic lane for our hotels driveway. Alot of screaming went on in that car,mostly from my husband. Now Im pissed that he is mad so I pull up to the lobby and ram his gear shift hard..the Jeep emblem goes flying off just as Im yanking the door open. Not only that but the plastic piece on the handle fell off too, oh boy Im as good as dead. In my defense, they just dont make vehicles like they used to, you would think a fully loaded Jeep Commander would be able to withstand a hot tempered Italian redhead.
Well, one good thing came out of that dreadful experience, my husband wont ask me to drive again and I can go back to being a comatose passenger.

Welcome to my lie

In this day and age,there are many things a person can contract that are contagious. None of them spread like wildfire quite like a lie does. We tell ourselves a little white lie cant hurt but before you know it,your trapped in a sticky web of lies and there is no escape.There are all types of liars too. There’s the “embellish-er”,they like to spruce up their stories to make them more interesting. Problem is with them, if they are that boring to begin with that they have to lie then maybe they should just not speak at all. Then you have the “pathological liar”..they cant help themselves. They lie about everything. Things they don’t even need to. These people are just plain dangerous because if by some small miracle they are telling the truth,whose gonna believe them? Lets not forget the “habitual” liar..almost like the ‘pathological’ one but not as dangerous. These poor peeps lie out of habit,sort of like smoking or biting their nails and just like any other habit,its very hard to break.
The liar i most want to talk about is..the “victim of circumstance” liar. This is a person who has been put in a position where they “have” to lie because someone else has. Its a situation where if one person is not being truthful then all the others are guilty by association so they need to continue with the lie.
It doesn’t even have to be a big lie,it can be minute,doesn’t matter. Fact is,after a while these people start to believe their own lies. I think its our minds way of letting us not feel guilty about it. If we believe it then everyone else will and therefore how could it be a lie?
The key to a good lie is to not provide too much information. Keep it simple,keep it believable and no matter what happens,never ever admit it! Get your facts straight and be non chalant about it. If its done in person try to maintain eye contact. Its a known fact that a person not being honest cant look someone in the eye. I on the other hand have a problem looking someone in the eye normally. I feel its a bit intrusive and sometimes it freaks me out,especially if they have those “piering into your soul” type of eyes but that’s something entirely different.
I would like to blame society for causing people to be dishonest but maybe its just something we feel compelled to do every now and then. Sort of like when you ask your husband if you look fat in this outfit. You know damn well you do and you know that he knows it too but a good man will never be truthful about that. In this situation,hes damned if hes truthful and hes damned if hes not. Whatever “liar” category you fall into, just remember, once you spin a web of lies,its very hard to get out. And if by chance you do,make sure you make note of how you did it so next time you’ll be that much craftier

Mangia

Growing up in an Italian-American family,5 days out of 7 we had pasta. Pasta and beans (pasta fagiole) pasta and peas (pasta piselli),pasta and lentils,pasta and meatballs..pasta pasta pasta! Even when we had steak it was smothered in sauce (steak piazziol) and simmered until it was so tender it melted in your mouth. Of course you put that on top of spaghetti.
On the days we didn’t have pasta we had regular american meals,with a twist of course. Our version of potato salad was potatoes in oil and garlic with roasted red peppers. Stuffed peppers were long frying peppers filled with a bread,egg,cheese and garlic stuffing then fried. Our vegetables were broccoli rabe, escarole mixed with cannelini beans, squash in sauce with potatoes and even tho it really isn’t all vegetables,antipasto. Tomato salad with Italian bread was a staple in our diet during the summer months being my family had a huge garden. We grew our own basil that we froze so we could use it all year round for sauce and meatballs.
If we had cauliflower it usually was made with oil and vinegar and my grandmother used to cook the flower of a squash plant by dipping in egg and frying it.
People who aren’t Italian don’t understand these weird foods but let me tell you, they may sound strange but they are delicious. I often complained when I was younger about eating this stuff but as I got older I miss a lot of those things. I find the only time I enjoy cooking is when I’m making something Italian. The house smells awesome and it brings me back to Sunday dinners with Italian music on the radio and big,flat rigatoni’s laid out in a bowl covered in sauce with a side of pork bracciole. During lent if it wasn’t pasta it was potato and eggs or peppers and eggs. On occasion we would have fish but even that was in sauce…mussels marinara, calamari marinara, shrimp parmigiana and scungeli.
Who else but an Italian could create gnocchi, which is a potato filled pasta. We are all about the carbs and don’t you ever forget it! The point I’m trying to make is, if you weren’t raised Italian with all it’s tasty goodness, your taste buds missed out!

Happiness and inner peace

Sometimes u have to look deep into your soul to see what makes u happy. Happiness is not something u have to chase or buy or beg to have,happiness comes from within. A person can bring u happiness,do all the right things but if ur not happy with yourself you’ll miss out on what life has to offer. Soul search,find what makes your heart smile and ignore what your head says. There is a constant battle between heart,mind and soul…choose them wisely even if you know there’s a chance you might lose. Not every battle is meant to win,sometimes we need them for experience,to learn,to grow. Don’t be the person people expect you to be,be who you are most happy being even if it means you won’t be liked. Not everyone will and that’s ok, criticism makes us stronger and want to do better,if not for any other reason but to prove you can. Sometimes I need to follow my own advice, to ignore what my head is thinking so my heart don’t get hurt. Sometimes I have to crawl out of myself and be someone else…someone who sees them-self how others do. Someone who values their being and learns to love them-self as much as I love others.
Happiness can be fleeting,find what yours is and value it or you will chase it your whole life.

Leashes

The key to a happy relationship depends on the length of the leash you have them on. A leash too short will keep them by your side but they will resent that and make them want to roam. A leash to long allows them to wander and puts a good deal of distance between you two. No leash gives u both a false sense of security that neither will stray but of course too much freedom is very tempting. So the answer is simple, don’t treat your significant other like a pet or a possession,don’t give them leashes or restrictions, don’t give them reasons to want to stray. Instead,treat them the way you would like to be treated…with respect, love and patience.

Just a thought

Behind a blank stare often lies a mind not at rest. What to do. What u should do. What u didn’t do. Why u do the things u do. The “Whys” and “what’s” replay over and over and all you can do is stare blindly into space hoping there u will find an answer. So the next time someone’s mind seems to wander and their eyes are fixed on nothing,it’s not that they are empty headed but more like they need a moment to catch up on their thoughts